Is My Neighbour A Cyborg?

Are you worried that your neighbour is a cyborg?

Here's our simple and fast checklist of questions to ask yourself:

• Do they follow the same pattern every day?
  Eg. get up, make food, leave the house, come back from work...?
  
  
• Do they ever make more than small talk with you?
  Eg. share their dreams, thoughts or life goals...?
  
  
• Do they seem to have strange, superhuman abilities?
  Eg. can they crush cans with their hands? Can they run for long amounts of time?
  
  
• Do they have food preferences?
  Eg. ask them what they think of two different types of ice cream
  
  
• Are their actions amplified?
  Eg. do they numerously repeat tasks, such as posting on social media every 3 hours?
  
  
• Have you seen or met any of their extended family?
  Eg. do they have that annoying Aunt that likes to come over and chat for 3 hours, or have in-laws visit with a brood of noisy kids leaving destruction behind?
  
  
• Have you ever seen them get ill?
  Eg. how do they react when you have violent vomiting sickness, or super contagious skin disease?
  
  
• Do they have a sense of humour?
  Eg. Do they laugh at physical comedy or dirty jokes?
  
  
• Do they lift? 
  Eg. heavy objects?
  
  
• Accuse them of being a cyborg
  Eg. "You dirty Cyborg!" How do they respond? Do they immediately try to prove you wrong?

If you've answered yes to any of the above, then yes, your neighbour is a Cyborg. Immediately report them to Super Earth Command and wait for the appropriate response unit to arrive. It may be beneficial to indicate the potential risk factor your neighbour poses, so that the correct force is used at the time.

If for some reason you suspect that your neighbour poses an immediate danger to either you, your family or any other citizen of Super Earth, deadly force may be permitted under the circumstances.